It was a book that first set me on this path: How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett. I’ve always been curious about how things work, but I’d never really explored how I tick — I simply wasn’t ready. That book helped me see that for most of my life, I had been using strategies to distract myself from parts of who I am. Anger, sadness, even joy were all feelings I kept hidden or buried. Negative self-talk, overthinking, people-pleasing, and squashing my own needs were ways I tried to stay safe.

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Therapy helped me understand that these strategies made sense in the context of the environment I grew up in. And gradually, I realised that I have a choice: I get to decide how I relate to myself and others. It’s difficult to put into words just how impactful that realisation has been.

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I made a choice for me — to train as a Psychotherapeutic Counsellor at the Northern Guild. My training was rooted in Psychodynamic, Transactional Analysis, and humanistic approaches. Working with clients has deepened my understanding that each person develops their own strategies to stay safe. These strategies make sense given their experiences, and my passion lies in helping clients reach a place where how they relate to themselves and others becomes a real choice.

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I now work in private practice in Northumberland, integrating my clinical training, lived experience, and the insights I gain from every client. I see clients face-to-face in Alnwick and Whittingham, and online across the UK. Outside of client work, I share tips and insights on Instagram.

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In everyday life, I live with my wife and two daughters in a small Northumberland village. Family life is central to me, and you’ll often find us out walking with a picnic — and hopefully a few rocks to clamber on! Movement is really regulating for me, so I make time for football, badminton, and being active amidst it all.