Therapy to help you feel more settled in yourself and less trapped by the patterns that keep pulling you back.
Notice what keeps pulling you back, work with what happens when it does, and move towards feeling more confident in your own choices.
You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly why you feel the way you do. You might simply know that something isn’t working, and that you’d like things to feel different.
IN PERSON IN MORPETH & BERWICK · ONLINE
A space to notice what keeps pulling you back — and work with it differently.
The people I work with are often the ones who seem to be coping. They get things done, think things through and are used to being dependable. But inside there can be a lot of noise — being hard on yourself, replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, worrying you’ve got something wrong, or feeling responsible for how other people feel.
A lot of energy can go into keeping things steady: being reasonable, making the right choice, not disappointing anyone. Even when something goes well, it may not settle the feeling that you should be doing better. After a while, it can become difficult to know what you actually think or want. Life can look perfectly fine from the outside while you feel anxious, low, exhausted by your own thoughts, or unsure why you’re not happier than you are.
The work is about noticing what pulls you back there, paying attention to what happens when it does, and gradually creating more room to respond differently — so you can feel more settled in yourself and more able to trust what feels right for you, even when other people might think differently.
MY APPROACH
Making sense of what’s happening — and finding ways to respond differently.
I’m interested in helping you make sense of what is happening where that is useful, but not stopping there. Sometimes that means talking through what's been going on and giving you somewhere to explore thoughts or feelings that have been going round in your head. Sometimes we’ll notice what happens when a pattern takes over, make a connection to something earlier in your life, or use imagery, metaphor or a more creative way of working when words don’t quite get to it.
I won’t expect you to do all of that on your own while I sit quietly. I’ll share what I’m noticing, offer gentle challenge when it feels useful, and bring in ideas or practical strategies that might help. If something doesn’t sit right with you, I welcome you to say so and we can look at it differently.
We’ll check in regularly to make sure the way we’re working still fits with what you want from therapy.
Where you may feel stuck
The reasons people come to therapy can look very different. Sometimes the difficulty is mostly in how you feel about yourself, sometimes it shows up most strongly with other people, and sometimes it’s more about where you are in life. Often, it’s a mixture of all three.
With yourself
You might be much harder on yourself than you would ever be on somebody else. Achievements can be brushed aside, mistakes linger, and decisions get picked apart long after you’ve made them.
You may know that “low self-esteem” or “low self-worth” fits somewhere, or you may simply have the sense that you’re never quite doing enough, getting it right or measuring up. Even your own feelings can become something you question.
With other people
Relationships can take a lot of energy when other people’s reactions carry so much weight. You might keep the peace, say yes when you want to say no, avoid disappointing people or feel responsible for fixing things when someone is upset.
Over time, it can become hard to hear your own preferences clearly. You may find yourself adapting so automatically that you’re no longer sure what you want without first thinking about everybody else.
In the wider world
Sometimes the struggle is less about one particular relationship and more about where you fit. Work, family expectations, change, loss or simply the pressure to keep going can leave you wondering whether the life you’re living actually feels like yours. You might look as though you’re coping while privately feeling unsettled, disconnected or unsure what comes next.
Why understanding the pattern isn’t always enough
Some of the ways we respond to life can become familiar because, at some point, they helped us cope or stay connected. You may have learned to avoid conflict, put other people first, stay busy so you didn’t have to sit with difficult feelings, or criticise yourself before anyone else could.
Understanding where a pattern came from can be useful, but insight alone does not always make it easy to respond differently when something feels uncertain, emotionally charged or important. You can know exactly what is happening and still find yourself doing the same thing again.
In therapy, we can pay attention to what pulls you back into the familiar response, what it costs you now and what might create a little more choice. The aim isn’t to get rid of parts of you. It is to recognise what is happening, relate to it differently and have more say in what happens next.